Round 7 - Where Are You God?

After winning rounds four, five and six treatment seven came back with a vengeance. I will admit I was having Job like moments the entire day. My treatments have been every other Monday for the first six, but God had different plans this time.
Let me start with the Saturday before my scheduled treatment on Monday the 30th of March. I woke up with pain in both of my feet. The left one was minimal, but the right one was hurting bad. I knew I was having a gout flare up, so I called the doctor and was advised to try to make it to Monday. 

Monday rolls around and I can hardly put any pressure on my right foot. We make our way to the treatment center and I start having an odd feeling like something is wrong. Once at the cancer center the process is they place a needle with tubing into my port, withdrawal blood for lab work to make sure there are no reasons they can't move forward with the infusion.

However, on this day my port was not returning blood. After several attempts the nurse decided to check with the doctor. He advised for them to send me on back to the treatment room. Those closest to me know I have a fear of needles. Needless to say I was extremely nervous when she prepped my arm to do a direct stick. However, it went perfect! Once in the treatment room a new nurse came over to advise they were going to shoot enzymes into the port to see if that would allow blood to flow from the port. After an hour of trying they couldn't get it to work they sent me to the hospital.

The cancer center is close to the hospital, but due to the coronavirus no shuttles were running. To make matters worse they were only allowing drop offs, so my ride had already left under the impression I was being treated. So, this meant I would have to walk to the hospital on two feet dealing with gout.

I had already been praying for God to restore the port to working condition to no avail. After asking for the best route for walking to the hospital I started my journey. As the pain in my feet intensified, I started crying, I stopped walking for a moment and looked up asking God why this was happening? Besides complete healing, all I have prayed for was no delays in my treatments. Why wasn't He listening?

I finally made it to the hospital, after a temp check they let me in. I circled the hospital two times looking for the area I needed to be in. I will admit I was growing frustrated because I wanted to get back to the cancer center in time for my treatment to be completed. I would like to say that once I finally found where I needed to be my frustration subsided, but it didn't.

As I prepped for the Portagram, I was given the impression it would only take about ten minutes to complete. I laid on the table patiently as thirty minutes passed and no one was to be found. I started praying, "Lord, I have no clue why this is happening, but I trust that you do. Please give me the attitude that reveals my faith in you." Once I finished the nurse walked in and clarified they were still waiting on the doctor to arrive. 

A few minutes later the doctor walks in, they do the imaging and he confirms there is some build up that is blocking the withdrawal of blood. He did confirm though the port was set right and still in place so the infusion could still be completed. As I hobbled quickly back to the cancer center I thanked God that I was good to move forward with the treatment. I still had questions like:

• Will they need to replace the port?
• Will they just go in to clean it?
• How will they verify it's good the next time?

After checking back in at the cancer center, my Oncologist sent the nurse out to let me know they may not be able to do the infusion. I said, "Please don't delay it, this has been one of my main prayers. " Shortly after they came to take me to the treatment room, I celebrated.

After sitting there a few minutes getting ready mentally the nurse comes back over. She informs me that they will need to postpone the treatment until the next day, Tuesday. She goes on to say that if I want to go back to Monday treatments after the Tuesday treatment, I would gave to wait three weeks. I have made good friends with other cancer patients that are on the same rotation as me. In fact, one friend who is battling stage 4 colon cancer is having his last treatment on Monday, April the 13th and now I wouldn't be there for his celebration. I was broken over this news, but refused to wait for three weeks, so I agreed to stick to Tuesday's.

I went in Tuesday and the treatment went off without any issues. I didn't even need to get up to walk around when it initially started. Now the recovery for whatever reason took twice as long, but I am hopeful that was because of the medicine they prescribed to help fight the gout. Which worked! I don't fully understand why God allowed this delay, but I do know He is faithful. I may not ever know, but I know Him and I know He is my provider and protector. May His will always be done in my life. So, where was God? He was on His throne loving me like He has done since before I was born. Praise be to God!